Thursday, October 29, 2009

And tonight I broke down

(click on the image to enlarge)
I have debated blogging about a tragedy taking place in our small charming community. But after tonight's breakdown during my last lesson, I've decided that I need my blog to be my outlet. It can't always be about rainbows and goats in Hawaii.
On Friday, my 16 year old piano student Swan, who I have taught for the past 5-6 years, went home from school with a headache. Apparently she had a quiet evening at home and went to bed early. Only she didn't wake up on Saturday. She passed away quietly in her sleep. She was an only child and her father was our doctor. This tragedy has effected all of my students and families. Even the elementary school aged children are aware of what has happened. It is just not fair. It is NOT fair.
This past year Swan slowly stopped taking piano lessons weekly. She was very busy with high school life and this is a normal pattern with my high school students. But nevertheless I have watched Swan grow up in front of my eyes for the past 5-6 years. She performed at all my recitals. On Saturday night after receiving the horrible news, I sat in my music room on the very piano bench she sat on in silence. Shocked. Deeply saddened.
Tonight, 4 days later, I was teaching one of my middle school students a song by "The Fray". And suddenly everything came flooding back to me. I bought this VERY book I was photocopying from tonight specifically for Swan. The Fray was her favorite band. I suddenly vividly remembered the lesson she told me she went to see The Fray during a summer visit to Michigan and how it was "the best day of her life". As I tried to control myself during this lesson, I had the world's largest lump in my throat. The kind that hurts so much it feels like you swallowed a piece of jagged charcoal and can't talk.
I am so sorry that all of my students dealing with this have to grow up so much faster than they should have too. I watch my students grow up so quickly in front of my eyes. Time, and life, is fleeting. And so very, very precious.

2 comments:

Bookwerme said...

Oh Jessica, your sadness is certainly understandable..even Jesus wept (John 11:13) over the loss of his friend..and he was about to resurrect him! I am so sorry for your loss.

Jenny said...

What a beautiful girl! I'll keep her family and all those who's lives she touched in my prayers.